Saturday Premier League open thread - watch United's rivals, Newcastle and Southampton

Manchester City are playing Arsenal in the early game, you may have heard. Arsenal haven't had as much time to recuperate, despite resting players and losing to Napoli, so it'll obviously be a routine win for City, but are we really hoping they beat Arsenal? Really? Is that what we've become? Is that how far we've fell?

On more important matters for us, there's plenty of mid-table dross in action too. Hopefully they all take points off each other so things look slightly less disastrous at our end.

Meanwhile, the best is saved to last as Hull City!! take on Stoke City!!! Yes, THE Stoke City! Neither team is managed by Tony Pulis anymore although both sort of feel like they are. Now that Sunderland have decided to just be laughably bad, this fixture could well replace Stoke-Sunderland as the quintessential awful game of football. Can I contain my excitement? I am contractually obliged not to.