Phil Jones back in training

Good news, one and all. Phil Jones has taken an important step towards his next injury by returning to full Manchester United training. While the utility defender/midfielder/whatever will not be in contention for this Sunday's game against Liverpool, he will — according to the Guardian — be back in the frame for selection against Aston Villa a week on Saturday.

Jones is then expected to play five or six games throughout the Christmas period, mostly at centre half but occasionally at right back, before picking up another injury in early January. Probably something muscular: the initial prognosis will be a week, but that will slip after he attempts to return too soon and accidentally kicks himself in the head.

This will keep him out until mid-February, when he will again rejoin the squad. Two months of relatively uninterrupted participation — largely from the bench — will follow, as Jones waits for his return to the first-team. Then, it comes! He starts! He lasts twenty minutes! He knocks himself unconscious on a corner flag. He is taken away on a stretcher and never seen again.