Dante extends contract with Bayern Munich

You may recall that, way back on Sunday morning, the internet was abuzz with joy at the news that William Carvalho was definitely absolutely completely totally 110% moving to Manchester United. As sure as Monday follows Sunday, then, cautionary news emerges from Germany: Brazilian centre-back Dante has extended his contract with Bayern Munich.

Yes, that Dante. The one with the big hair. The one who, in January, was at the very least "thankful for the United interest", and at the very most had agreed a deal to move to Old Trafford. Now it turns out it was all just a cynical piece of agenting; that the noble club of Sir Matt and Sir Bobby was being used as nothing more than a pawn in negotiations. That all Dante wanted was to stay in Munich for a few more years, earn a bit more money than he had been doing, and win so many medals he'll need to reinforce his mantelpiece.

Bless the done deals, and bless those who report them. No further news on Toni Kroos, by the way.