United reportedly offering Kroos a medium-sized fortune

We've reached the point with the Toni Kroos transfer saga — is there anything longer than a saga? Epic? Geologic age? Epoch? — where, should the unthinkable happen and should he actually move to Old Trafford, everybody will already be vaguely sick of the sight of him. Transfers that come out of the blue are always exciting; transfers that drag on for ages, on the other hand, just end up being annoying.

Until then, there is more news. The Guardian's intrepid Jamie Jackson states that while the powers that be at Old Trafford accept that signing him will be difficult, particularly with Champions League football, they feel that they may yet succeed with a combination of club pedigree plus £260,000 a week. Jackson also adds that Moyes hopes to use the German in the same role we saw during the Champions League semi-finals: "a deep-lying midfielder ... the chief orchestrator of the attack."

Whether that's the best use of Kroos's talents is debatable. As was pointed out by an amused colleague who watches more German football than TBB, United look as though they're attempting to start next season with a collection of players — Kroos, Kagawa, Mata, Fellaini, perhaps even Rooney — all of whom are best played as a No10, yet all of whom play the position in a completely different way.

Not that it matters. Because he's not coming.