Agent: Toni Kroos isn't going anywhere

Hello! Hello! How are you?

Welcome to the Busby Babe, your unofficial home of all things Toni Kroos! Boy, have we got a show for you! Coming up, we'll have a feature on Toni's favourite Disney films, and we'll be learning how to make a portrait of his face using only pasta shapes, Later, TBB will be crossing live to Munich to check up on Toni's movements: he may, we're hearing, have gone to the shop to buy milk. Milk! I'm sure you're as excited as we are to learn whether that milk is skimmed, semi-skimmed, or full fat!

But first, a word from the man himself's agent, Volker Struth! He's been talking to BILD!

We have not received any official contract offer [from Manchester United].There is also no need to submit an offer as Toni will be with Bayern Munich until June 2015.

Oh! Oh dear! Hard luck, Manchester United! Hard luck! Tune in tomorrow for the latest on this fast-moving story, when we'll have an exclusive interview with Kroos' brother's friend's mechanic's hairdresser's dog's favourite tennis ball. You won't want to miss it!