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Those Reus-hearts-United quotes? Yeah, they were made up.

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Surprise! Apparently Borussia Dortmund's players haven't been sitting around chatting about how lovely it would be to move to Manchester United.

Gonzalo Arroyo Moreno

As conscientious United-supporting citizens of the internet, doubtless you heard at some point yesterday that Marco Reus, Borussia Dortmund's extravagantly talented attacking midfielder, spends his free time dreaming of a move to Old Trafford. At least, that's according to his former teammate Mario Götze. Perhaps you heard it from the Manchester Evening News, or the Mirror, or the Daily Mail. Fine, august organs, one and all.

Oh dear.

According to various internet people, München Lokal may in fact be a restaurant. Note that this doesn't mean that United aren't trying to buy Reus, as has also been reported; if there's any hint of Reus being available it would entirely negligent not to. But it does mean that the club can't rely on any such move being made easier by the player's self-confessed desire to play on that same sacred turf where Liam Miller once strode.