United rumour round-up: deja vu all over again

One of the great advantages of following United is the variety when it comes to the rumours. Being a big club with deep pockets and a large reputation, new names are bubbling up all the time, as agents and papers and blogs all compete for their preferred form of attention.

But not today. According to the usual suspects in the press, the usual suspects are all relating to one another in the usual way. To wit:

• according to the Mirror, United are set to offer Bayern Munich £40m for Toni Kroozzzzzzzzzzzzzz ... Ah! Sorry! Yes, United are going to pay huge money for a player with one year left on his contract, whose chairman says isn't going anywhere for another season, then offer Kroos a 'Wayne Rooney-style contract', despite the thumpingly obvious manner in which United are being used by Kroos to massage the best possible deal out of his club;
• according to the Manchester Evening News, "reports in Portugal" indicate that United are scouting Sporting midfielder William Carvalho for what we think is the 4,378,556th time;
• also according to the Daily Star, Patrice Evra really likes Italy, might sign for somebody else at the end of the season, but he still really likes United too and hasn't completely decided yet.

Water, in other news, is still wet.