Phil Jones to ... wait, where?!

Pinches of salt at the ready, folks. According to the Irish Independent — and, as far as we can see, nobody else at all — Jose Mourinho, Chelsea manager, is considering making a bid for Phil Jones.

Yes, Phil Jones.

Yes, that Phil Jones.

The story goes that Mourinho, with John Terry getting older and David Luiz a target for Barcelona and Paris Saint-Germain, is looking for defensive reinforcement. And in some ways, Jones would be the ideal replacement for Luiz, in that he can double up as both a willing-yet-flawed centre-back and an enthusiastically out-of-position midfielder. But still ... no. Not having it.

To be clear: tBB, or at least this aspect of tBB, very much likes Phil Jones, and half-believes, half-hopes that he will turn out to be the brilliant defender that he occasionally looks a bit like. But, well, as a replacement for John "Utterly Loathsome Human Being But Really Quite Good Defender" Terry? Right now?

File under: stranger things have probably happened but none actually spring to mind right now.