Move for PSG superstar appears to be off

It is rare that the collapse of a transfer rumour brings pleasure. But the news from this morning's L'Equipe that Edinson Cavani is "99%" likely to stay at Paris Saint-Germain is, at least in tBB's eyes, a thoroughly positive thing for Manchester United.

Not, we hasten to add, because Cavani is a bad player. He's not; he is utterly fantastic, and under any other circumstance, the notion of Cavani at Old Trafford would be exciting to the point of giddy arousal. And even now, the fact of saying "nah, don't want him" seems like spoiled big-club whinging of the highest order. "Oh God, not another world-class striker. Oh, I'm so bored of these guys."

But United's apparent pursuit of him never felt like a wise thing, like a good thing, like a constructive thing. Rather, it felt like the flailing gestures of an organisation — or, perhaps, an executive vice-chairman — desperate to make a statement. Look at us. We have money. We have clout. Look at the size of our clout. Look at the gorgeous hair on our clout. Now, er, where do we play him?

A wonderful answer to a question that nobody was asking. Enjoy Paris, Edinson. And if we ever manage to shift Wayne Rooney out of our lives, then ... well, then we can attempt to buy you for real, fail miserably, and makes fresh fools out of ourselves in the process. Until then!