Manchester United vs. Inter Milan: Young starts at left-back

Our erstwhile god in heaven, in his infinite wisdom, hath decreed that ASHLEY YOUNG shall start at left-back this evening, whereupon he will be required to TACKLE and TRACK BACK and PUT A SHIFT IN as well as CUTTING INSIDE and HITTING IT INTO A DEFENDER'S SHINS.

He hath also made it so that DARREN FLETCHER will be captain, along with ANDER HERRERA in midfield. Chris Smalling, Phil Jones, and Jonny Evans shalt be the defence. Daniel Welbeck will partner Wayne Rooney in attack, and in his everlasting glory he has also made it so Juan Mata shall start in his favoured role in the number 10 position, where he will PLAY INCISIVE PASSES and DRIFT INTO SPACE and HAVE HIS FACIAL HAIR VASTLY OVERRATED BY HETEROSEXUAL MEN.

Oh, and Lindegaard's in goal, dunno what that's all about.

Manchester United starting lineup (3-4-1-2): Anders Lindegaard; Chris Smalling, Phil Jones, Jonny Evans; Antonio Valencia, Darren Fletcher, Ander Herrera, Ashley Young; Juan Mata; Wayne Rooney, Danny Welbeck.