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United deny that Falcao is lying about his age

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International breaks really are the worst.

Mike Ehrmann

Shocking news, folks. Radamel Falcao has been carrying on an elaborate, complex fraud for many years now, and it has only been exposed by the fearless Sun newspaper, lover of truth and exposer of wrongdoing. The Colombian striker, thought by Google everybody to have been born on February 10 1986, was in fact born in 1984! Which makes him 30!

Apparently. The story does rather fall to pieces when it emerges that (a) Manchester United knew about the allegation and (b) are entirely content that it is nonsense. "We were aware of the rumours at the time and it was never an issue," said A Spokesperson. It doesn't appear that the Sun thought to ask A Spokesman before they rushed to print. Perhaps they were too pleased with the headline OLD MAN UTD.

Anyway, the most amusing thing about the entire story is that the Sun claimed it as a

FOOTIE EXCLUSIVE

despite it having been reported for a while, and denied by Falcao himself -- "completely ridiculous" -- back in 2013. Does exclusivity grow back? And, more importantly, has anybody asked Donald Trump for his view? He loves this birth certificate stuff.