Manchester United midfielder handed driving ban

Marouane Fellaini has joined Rio Ferdinand, Ashley Young, Ryan Tunnicliffe and doubtless many, many more on the illustrious list of Manchester United players who've been banned from driving. The Belgian was apparently caught speeding twice within the space of six minutes, including going over twice the speed limit in the Sale area of Greater Manchester.

According to the Mirror, prosecutor Mr Richard Doughty said: "Mr Fellaini was caught driving along Cross Street at 4.46pm on the 7th May and was travelling at 81mph in a 40mph zone. Six minutes later at 4.52pm he was caught travelling at 59mph in a 30mph zone."

What he actually should've said is: "Mr Fellaini had even less control over his car than he usually does of a football, and that's saying something."

The upshot is that Fellaini has now been banned from driving for nine months, and ordered to pay an inconsequential fine and even more inconsequential court fees. He'll have to find someone else to drive him to training for the rest of the season, or he could just not bother. Come to think of it, that would probably be preferable; it seems his knack for getting points on his licence is much handier than helping United to points in the league table.