As mentioned in greater detail on the site, the Guardian carries a story about Ander Herrera denying the rumours that he wants to leave United. That's good news for us, but miserable news for his career. Save yourself, Ander!
The Daily Mail has handily discovered that the stats show that Wayne Rooney is five times less the goalscoring player he was in 11/12. We all know that, but it's nice to see the wall of persuasion get higher, as only fools keep defending his inclusion.
Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang and Edinson Cavani are the latest strikers linked to Louis van Gaal's Manchester United. Hope for their sake that their agents make the case for them to stay away. Both of them would be better than Rooney, obviously, but that seems be a description of most human beings and a fair amount of sandwich fillings. That's in the Mirror.
And linked to the idea that players should be kept away from Van Gaal for the good of their careers, the Manchester Evening News has a blog which explains why every single forward that has played for United under the manager has gone backward.