Louis van Gaal has been sacked as Manchester United manager, and Jose Mourinho is coming in as his replacement. At least, that's according to Twitter, which is having a more-intense-than-usual attack of the vapours this evening.
It all began with former Manchester City winger and current BBC talking head Trevor Sinclair, who rather charmingly told the world that:
Jose's in at the swamp— Trevor Sinclair (@trevor8sinclair) December 22, 2015
The rumour then multiplied like maggots on rotting meat. The Telegraph's Mark Ogden turned up on Sky to confirm things, while Jorge Mendes' fluffer-in-chief Duncan Castles did likewise on BBC Radio 3. Everything got a bit frantic. Ander Herrera's spirits began to lift. Possibly.
Fortunately for Van Gaal, Radio 3 is a classical music station, Ogden hadn't been on television at all, and Sinclair, the silly fool, had been very careless indeed ...
School boy error left my phone on the table at a Christmas party sincere apologies for my last 2 tweets #Merrychristmas— Trevor Sinclair (@trevor8sinclair) December 22, 2015
Stand down, people. Stand down. Louis van Gaal has not been sacked.