Manchester United 2-0 Sunderland: Rooney hits brace as United limp past Sunderland

Everybody's probably feeling pretty good after this result, so we'll get the negativity out of the way early: it really is hard to imagine how staggeringly bad United were up until the goal. Angel di Maria put in a performance that made Bebe look like Arjen Robben, Ashley Young was the best player on the park, and it was generally a disjointed mess of a performance with everything from the intricacies to the basics failing to come off amid an air of staggering incompetence.

Then we won 2-0.

So, everybody ought to be happy. The first sixty minutes were a shambles of horrific passing, blind alleyways, crosses hoofed out of play and aimless running. Then John O'Shea decided to bundle Falcao over in the area after a clever touch from the Colombian, the referee sent off Wes Brown instead for a laugh, and Rooney tucked away the penalty.

After that, United were dominant, with Sunderland content to sit in their area, and United did what they always do, looking very handy in an already won game against a team that had given up. Pantilimon kept out a fine effort from Januzaj, Marouane Fellaini came on and got involved with things, the play markedly improved and Rooney soon added a third.

So, there you go. Nothing to see here. Another poor performance, another win. But it's hard to imagine when it was more joyless and clueless than this. I'll leave the final word with @jMETMUFC, who sums it up best.

There is absolutely nothing I enjoy about this United team, the wins have been lucky, the defeats woeful and the football turgid as fuck.

— JM (@jmetMUFC) February 28, 2015