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Falcao makes a decision on his future — reports

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"You can't fire me! I quit!"

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In what cynics are already calling a "face-saving pre-emptive move", the Manchester Evening News are reporting that Radamel Falcao, Manchester United's misfiring striker, has decided not to stay on at Manchester United after his loan expires, even if he gets offered a new contract, which he won't.

According to the paper, Falcao is generally unhappy that he no longer seems to feature in Louis van Gaal's first team plans, and reached his decision after being asked to turn out for the U21s earlier in March, a game in which he not only failed to score but blocked two goalbound shots. At that moment, it became clear that things weren't just going to work out, and he would have to leave even if he were to be offered a permanent deal, which he won't.

As for his likely destination, most of the top clubs in Europe have been linked with him at one point or another over the last few months, including Valencia and Atletico Madrid in Spain, Juventus in Italy and, most excitingly, Chelsea and Liverpool in the Premier League. TBB looks forward to next season's inevitable face-rubbing hat-trick, a sure thing that can only be avoided if the club sign him up, which they won't.