In The Telegraph, Mark Ogden links the publishing of Manchester United's quarterly accounts with Louis van Gaal discovering how much money he will have available for the summer transfer window. Are you sceptical that a senior employee of the club would not already know these figures, and sceptical that United wouldn't have already sorted out their transfer budget? You should be. Regardless, Ogden, perhaps more convincingly, lists Aymeric Laporte, Mats Hummels, Arturo Vidal, Nathaniel Clyne and Paul Pogba as targets.
Musa Okwonga, at ESPNFC, has discussed Manchester United's striking options, and has decided that the best tactical gameplan is for Marouane Fellaini to play as a striker in Wayne Rooney's absence. His reasoning can be appraised here.
In The Mirror, Christian Benteke is in no hurry to make a move to United, Liverpool, or anywhere else, and will decide on his future after the upcoming summer friendlies. Stefan de Vrij is happy to stay at Lazio rather than agitate for a more away.
And lastly, Adnan Januzaj scored in a 4-0 victory for United's U21 side against Manchester City's U21 side. City don't actually call their side the U21s, though, they call it the Elite Development Squad. Which is some of the most pseudo-aspirational, pathetic, mockable, rank, hubristic, guff-filled rubbish that has been seen in the Premier League in the past few years.
There you go, then. Onwards to your days of agreeing with the stories you like the look of, and disagreeing with those that upset you, and live in your own world, barely affected by facts, events, or evidence, merely operating on a kind of arrogant guesswork based in staggering ignorance. That's fine, we're all at it.