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@LIFEHACK_NEO answers your Man Utd queries

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We asked @LIFEHACK_NEO to give his appraisal of the season as our readers and Twitter followers asked him for his incisive responses. He didn't let us down.

Mark Thompson/Getty Images

NEO: PROBABLY EVERY MOMENT CARRICK HASN'T BEEN ON THE FIELD. IT'S LIKE A TANTALISING GLIMPSE INTO A BRIGHT AND HOPEFUL FUTURE. I CAN FEEL MY SOUL ASCENDING EVERYTIME HE HOBBLES OFF INJURED

NEO: WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO CUT IT??? MAKES HIS HEAD LOOK ABOUT 10 STONE AND THE OPPOSITION [FIRST SWEARWORD] [SECOND SWEARWORD] THEMSELVES

NEO: GOAL IS TO MAKE A RECORD WITH PITBULL AND DO IT IN THE MUSIC VIDEO

NEO: GO [THIRD SWEARWORD] YOURSELF

NEO: CONSIDERING UTD HAVE THE MOST FRUSTRATING WINGERS AND FORWARDS TO WATCH IN THE ENTIRE WORLD GAME I DON'T REALLY [FOURTH SWEARWORD] CARE

NEO: ARTHUR SCARGILL

NEO: HE'S BASICALLY THE SAME DAP AS TYRION LANNISTER. WEIRD NARROW SHOULDERS JUST LIKE HERRERA. MAD HOW THOSE SPANISH [FIFTH SWEARWORD] GROW UP AROUND SWIMMING POOLS AND THE SEA AND HAVE NEVER GONE SWIMMING IN THEIR LIFE. MATA DOES SEEM LIKE A NICE GUY THOUGH, SO I GIVE HIM A PASS.

NEO: SHUT UP [SIXTH SWEARWORD. THE BAD ONE]

Neo has kindly donated his fee for this Q&A to the Nepalese Earthquake Fund. You can follow him Twitter at @VEGETARIAN_NEO