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Manchester United sign incredible contract extension with Epson

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In astonishing news, Manchester United have extended their contract with Espon office supplies to make sure that the club have enough printers, paper, and I don't know what else, who cares.

Dignity
Dignity
Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images

Manchester United have beaten off strong competition from top clubs around the world who had been tracking Espon as their potential office suppliers.

Ed Woodward and Louis van Gaal moved quickly when they heard that clubs from around the company, and at least one club in the English Premier League were circling the suppliers of wires and electronic bits and bobs. Ironically, it is thought that a last minute hitch with a fax machine supplied by a rival was the reason for Paris Saint-Germain failing to complete a desperate swoop for their highest summer target.

None of that stress was betrayed this morning, though, when a United Twitter account was able to announce that the deal had been extended. It is believed that Epson were relieved to agree to the deal, despite other interest, as Manchester United were the strongest Champions League brand in their target geographical areas. The deal had been held up until their position in at least fourth was confirmed.

Brendan Rodgers, Liverpool's manager, said at this morning's press conference, 'We were never really interested in the company. The stats for the printer efficiency are less than outstanding."