The last game of the season beckons, and it's so meaningless we've all had to start to pretend that Steve Bruce remains particularly relevant.
In The Mirror, they reckon that Jorge Mendes will be sitting down with the Real Madrid higher-ups to tell him to get the David de Gea deal done. There will be some wrangling over the fee, and it's still not quite clear if De Gea might have a last-minute change of heart. We shall see, and you can read here. Further exits could be on the cards, with Tyler Blackett linked with a loan move to Everton, and Antonio Valencia wanted by Valencia. Please, let him go. There's also a Nicolas Gaitan story. Ah, the comfort of nostalgia.
In the Manchester Evening News, Louis van Gaal is quoted as soon coming to a decision over the future of many of the squad's players, and also his belief that De Gea will stay. United fans should hope that more of the dross is culled from the squad, as they are significantly behind even Arsenal.
The Iron Tulip cares not for Steve Bruce. In The Telegraph, he is urging United to batter Hull City and be ruthless. He probably should have been asking for ruthlessness earlier in the season, to be honest, what with the rest of the league being terrible, with the exception of Chelsea.
Over to ESPNFC, and Van Gaal has said that he aims to improve the holding midfield role. The article mentions Ilkay Gundogan and Bastian Schweinsteiger as possibilities, and there's no way to think that United don't obviously need both if they're going to improve the squad sufficiently.
And lastly, on the same site, you can read Andy Mitten discussing his memories of Rome and Moscow, given United's absence from the Champions League this year.
Lastly, and while the Daily Star is generally not one for rumours, it does carry some accurate quotes from Bastian Schweinsteiger, who refused to rule out a move away to Manchester United.
Right, let's watch those Steve Bruce YouTube highlights again.