Good morning. There's been no time for espressino, or even just a normal coffee. That's just how damn committed we are to bringing you blogs of tolerable quality, all in the pursuit of hits, hits, hits!
To the first bits and pieces. The low hum you can hear is Ed Woodward, Vadim Vasilyev and Jorge Mendes counting other people's money. That's right, discussions are ongoing as to what happens with Radamel Falcao next season. David de Gea's contract remains unsigned. The two subjects could, obviously, not in any way be linked. Elsewhere in The Mirror, Manchester United are now the most valuable club in Britain, and one of the most valuable in the world. Thank you, The Glazers, you have done so much for us. Read here.
Whatever you think of Michael Carrick - and what you should think is that he's a good player who has become increasingly important as his abilities have waned - a column here in the Manchester Evening News suggests the time is now to start moving on. Yep.
The Metro, which has the worst football rumours section in print in Britain, says we're in for Mats Hummels and Ilkay Gundogan. It might be true and it might be false, but there's not a chance The Metro have any clue whether what they say has merit or not.
Bale news. In The Telegraph, and this is repeated across the papers so somebody has had a word, is that Real and Ancelotti will fight to keep Gareth Bale. Don't be fooled. This could all be a negotiating point, or it could be correct, but if Bale decides he's had enough of being a scapegoat and decides a new start is necessary, Real would probably roll over. That's not to say Real don't want rid of him anyway.
There's not a great deal about United in the press today, and you can blame David Moyes, Alex Ferguson, the Glazers and Woodward for that. If they'd been doing their job properly over the last five years, United would be coasting it, or at the very least competing with Real Madrid, Bayern and Barcelona.