Manchester United's Wayne Rooney fires England to victory, but Argentina collapse

We don't know how you feel about it, but here at tBB towers, it sometimes feels as though this last season has been going on for approximately 1,745 years. That Louis van Gaal sent Jesse Lingard out to face Swansea around the same time as the Chinese were inventing gunpowder. But now, with the final conclusion of the final round of international qualifiers, Manchester United's players will finally be able to stop running around, and we can all enjoy the Women's World Cup in peace.

Oh, hang on, there's the Copa America. Sake.

Right, let's begin there, shall we? United have two players out in Chile, both in the squad of Argentina, one of the pre-tournament favourites. And both made a decent start in the first half against Paraguay: Marcos Rojo trotted up and down the left willingly, while Angel di Maria put some decent crosses in, got kicked a bit, and took a dive/got hacked down in the area to win a penalty, which Leo Messi converted for a 2-0 lead.

And then it went wrong. Paraguay nicked one back, Argentina panicked, and though both sides had their chances, it was Paraguay who got the fourth and equalising goal. They're playing the holders Uruguay at 00:30 UK time (19:30 ET) and it's safe to say that might count as A Big One.

Meanwhile in Europe, we've had Euro 2016 qualifiers to cope with. England kept up their 100% record with a surprisingly enjoyable 3-2 win over Slovenia. Wayne Rooney scored the winner, taking him level with Bobby Charlton on 48 goals for England, and Phil Jones and Chris Smalling also made an appearance. Things didn't end well for Jones, however, who set up the first Slovenia goal with an appalling throw-in, then had to be removed at half-time after picking up an injury. Get yourself somewhere sunny and far away, Phil, and have a lie down on some sand. Forget about it all.

David de Gea couldn't get on the pitch for Spain's 1-0 win over Belarus, in what will hopefully serve as some kind of warning that rotund Spanish managers really don't like dropping Iker Casillas. And there was bad luck for Marouane Fellaini as well: the midfielder picked up an injury before of Belgium's top-of-the-group game against Wales, and so could only watch in what we presume to have been horror as Gareth Bale scored the game's only goal. It was a funny one, too.

In happier news, United's Dutch contingent came away with a victory. Neither Robin van Persie nor Memphis Depay got on the scoresheet, but Daley Blind set up the second of two late goals in a 2-0 win over Latvia. Jonny Evans' Northern Ireland held on for a nil-all draw against Romania, though Paddy McNair could only make the bench. And Nani played 90 minutes as Portugal came from behind to beat Armenia 3-2. Some chancer called Cristiano Ronaldo scored a hat-trick. No, us neither.

Finally, we head to New Zealand, where Andreas Pereira is representing Brazil in the U20s World Cup. The knockout stages late last week, and while the Brazilians have only managed two consecutive 0-0 draws against Uruguay and Portugal, they've come through on penalties both times. And on both occasions, Pereira has taken — and scored — the first penalty. Well done him.