Hello, and welcome to the clickbait round up, where we sort the chaff from the even worse chaff.
First, some good news unless you truly want rid of him for the utter guff he produced for a year: Angel Di Maria is talking as if he wants to make a better go of next season than he did this. If United get talented players in this summer, then we can expect Di Maria to make an improved showing. And if not, there will be other options to pick up the slack, and he can be booted off to Paris or back to Madrid. That's in the Mirror here.
The Daily Star has a story that Dani Alves has signed a pre-contract with United, and the Independent says that Nani is most likely to do one to Inter Milan rather than Sporting Lisbon, where he's had a mildly impressive season - you can read those two snippets here.
Back to Nani, and David Amoyal has written that, following on from Portuguese reports, that Nicolas Gaitan has a move to Manchester United almost sorted. Di Marzio also said that Dani Alves would be signing for PSG, so you can be pretty sceptical about that - but clearly, that doesn't mean it won't actually happen. We are in a sea of bullsh*t right now.
On ESPNFC, there's a story suggesting that Karim Benzema has interest from United, and that's here. The story is more substantial here, on Manchester Evening News, where Samuel Luckhurst writes that they've had a meeting with Benzema's agent. Luckhurst isn't known for making anything up, so it's worth paying attention to, but a meeting with an agent doesn't guarantee a transfer is agreed. Benzema, for all his faults, would be a massive improvement on Wayne Rooney, but it does mean that Rooney may drop back into midfield again, which is a desperately scary prospect.
And an update on Raheem Sterling, from Jamie Jackson in The Guardian, which says that Sterling would be happy to consider a move from Liverpool to Manchester United despite all the trouble that might cause. Well, it's hardly like he's going to be able to make the situation better after the last few weeks, so he might as well go all in. That's here.