Right, let's see if you can all manage to not descend into arguing which of Real Madrid and Manchester United have the most class in the comments section. Good luck, it obviously is something you all love to do and defend.
Onto something less pointless, Barcelona's president has been rude to Dani Alves, telling him to sign the contract. It sounds like they're gearing up to paint him as the bad guy, but these things can never be described as a sure thing until you see the player in a United shirt. Even then, he might end up doing a John Obi Mikel. Read that on ESPNFC here.
On the same site, here's Gary Pallister explaining that he and Roy Keane did not speak to each other for a season, for no reason other than stubbornness. That's here. Yes, that really is one of the most interest stories about today.
Some transfer news in the Telegraph - Chelsea won't stand in Petr Cech's way should he decide to join Manchester United. It's up to Louis van Gaal and Edward Woodward to decide if he is a suitable replacement for David de Gea, who is almost certain to join Real Madrid. There's nobody else who is as suitable as Cech is to replace De Gea, and if United get hold of him they can relax on that position, at least. Here's the full story.
Also in the Telegraph, this story about Manchester United facing legal action for their shameful treatment of spectators with disabilities. We shouldn't be surprised, they have contempt for most fans as it is, and it's no shock that this extends to specific unpleasantness to those who may be more vulnerable.
In the Manchester Evening News, there's a story that Jurgen Klopp has his sights on the United job. It's not the first story that a manager is waiting to see what's going on with Van Gaal next season, it's thought that Pep Guardiola might be holding off City until he's sure that he can't replace him at United. You can see that here. And they also have a clip of Andreas Pereira scoring for Brazil here.
Lastly, Athletic Bilbao have raised the release clause of Aymeric Laporte to £36.5 million. It's not clear if Laporte is still up for leaving and merely doing them a favour, or if this is a sign that he's happy to stay for at least another season. Untied are, or were, interested. That's in the Daily Mail.