Sergio Romero: 5
Didn't really have any saves to make, but still managed to have heart-in-mouth moment when he unnecessarily closed Ayoze Perez on the left side of his box. Saved by the offside flag. Had no chance with Mitrovic's header that hit the bar. Sometimes looks drunk.
Matteo Darmian: 7
Looking like a more astute signing with each appearance. Took an early yellow card, but defended well. Got forward at every opportunity, but could've produced a better final pass.
Chris Smalling: 6
Stood up well to the physical, kicky, bitey Mitrovic. Got forward to help the attack, but should've scored at least once. WHY CHRIS? WHY!?
Daley Blind: 6
Another quietly confident performance from the versatile Dutchman. His ‘lumberjack folk band' look is coming along quite nicely.
Luke Shaw: 8
Tireless performance at both ends of the pitch. Combined excellently with Memphis in the first half and got in behind the Newcastle defence at will. Needs to work on his final pass.
Morgan Schneiderlin: 5
Offered very little in attack and rarely had anything to do defensively. Doesn't possess a left foot.
Bastian Schweinsteiger: 6
A decent home debut, but tended to slow the play down. He and Schneiderlin look solid, but uncreative. Has some catching up to do in terms of fitness.
Memphis Depay: 5
Had a lot of shots that weren't good enough with team-mates better positioned. Then again, I wouldn't pass to Rooney either. Looked like he was trying to impress the crowd whenever he got on the ball.
Adnan Januzaj: 5
Ineffectual for most of the game and not good enough to play the number 10 role at the moment.
Juan Mata: 6
He tried. He really did. Will probably read some poetry and prune his bonsai tree to recover.
Wayne Rooney: 4
Hid behind Coloccini's curly locks for most of the game, and only got involved once Hernandez came on. Would probably make better runs if you taped him to a Roomba.
Michael Carrick (Schweinsteiger 58): 6
Gave the team a bit more tempo when he came on, and pushed them further up the pitch. Never going to score a winning goal, but did what was asked of him.
Chicharito (Januzaj 66): 5
Ran around, tried to score but didn't. Missed a game-winning chance. I gave him an extra point because he wasn't Wayne Rooney.
Antonio Valencia (Darmian 77): 5
Did some unremarkable things. Not sure what the point of the substitution was. Not sure what the point of Valencia is.
Subs (not used): Johnstone, McNair, Herrera, Young.