Jorge Mendes, David de Gea's agent, has flown to Manchester to try to arrange a deal between United and Real Madrid to end the De transfer nonsense. United are holding out for £30 million, and Real are currently not budging - there's a few more days of this to-and-fro before we can all get some rest. You can read about it in the Mirror.
In the Telegraph, there's a story that Javier Hernandez has been told he can leave Manchester United. Bayer Leverkusen are expected to be his next destination, where he can finish impressively sometimes, and shoot the ball straight at his face on other occasions. He had an exception first two seasons for United, but the last few years have shown it's probably best that he plays regularly for someone else. Sadio Mane is also mentioned as a possible target, but he isn't being talked about by anyone but Jason Burt. It doesn't mean it isn't happening, but it's odd that no Manchester hack is running with it.
Lastly, the Mail says that United had been offered Dante of Bayern Munich earlier in the summer, and considered his signing, but Louis van Gaal is currently unsure he would fit into the system.
Right, not long to go now. Just a goalkeeper, central defender, right wing and striker needed. Easy.