David de Gea will not play for Manchester United against Spurs

The football returns tomorrow, which means Louis van Gaal's pre-game press conferences returned today. And if United start anything like as spectacularly as their manager, it's going to be one hell of a season. When asked if David de Gea would start against Tottenham on Saturday, Van Gaal was definitive:

He shall not play. I don't have any concerns. I think about the human more than the player. I don't think he can handle that.

Tricky one, this kind of situation. On the one hand, you don't want to take the risk of picking a goalkeeper whose head isn't in the right place. It's the onfield job that requires the most concentration and the most focus, and messing about with it will only end badly.

On the other, you desperately want to slap him in the face with a pair of goalkeeping gloves, point out precisely what his job is and who pays him to do it, and then frogmarch him to the penalty area and tell him to get on with being an adult.

So yeah, a tricky one. As is this: Sergio Romero or Sam Johnstone?

In other news, nobody's injured ...

"We have no injuries," Louis van Gaal tells #MUTV ahead of #mufc v Tottenham. "It's unbelievable!"

— Manchester United (@ManUtd) August 7, 2015

... but Marcos Rojo and Bastian Schweinsteiger are not available for selection. The former isn't up to speed after the Copa America, the latter's just generally a bit old.