Manchester United have confirmed their squad numbers for the 2015/16 season, and as rumoured, Memphis Depay has been granted the No. 7 shirt. Will he be able to cope with the weight of following in the footsteps of Michael Owen, Antonio Valencia (briefly) and Angel di Maria (also briefly)? We don't know. Will this scupper any deal for Pedro? No, of course not, he's a grown man.
Has anything else exciting happened? Well, James Wilson's been promoted from 49 to 19. That's fun! Morgan Schneiderlin will wear No. 28, Bastian Schweinsteiger will take the famous No. 31, and Matteo Darmian will wear No. 36. Luke Shaw's gone from No. 3 to No. 23, for which we can probably blame David Beckham.
Nobody's going to wear Nos. 2, 3, or 9. Irk the purists.
United have given numbers to four goalkeepers, which might be some kind of record. Anders Lindegaard continues in No. 13, Sergio Romero takes No. 20, and Sam Johnstone gets No. 50. No. 1 has been given to some bloke called, er, "David de Gea"? Doesn't ring any bells with us.
Go back to your lives, citizens.