Yesterday, Manchester United defeated a miserable Liverpool side by three goals to one. Which was nice and enjoyable. But today, the serious business of evaluative science begins. Here, thanks to the Busby Babe supercomputer and our massive, throbbing brains, are the official marks out of ten for each of United's players. And you cannot argue with science.
David de Gea: 7
Gave the ball away in a dangerous area, then made up for it with two sprawling, clawing saves, the kind that proper goalkeepers make. Probably a six, really, but it's such a relief to have him playing again.
Luke Shaw: 8
By some distance United's best attacking player in the first half. Possibly United's only attacking player in the first half. Which says as much about the rest of the team than him, but still, he was pleasingly effective in both directions.
Daley Blind: 8
Up at the fun end, he took his goal beautifully. Down at the serious end, he made a couple of vital blocks, and made off with the man of the match award. Whether he's the long term solution at centre back remains to be seen, but he's a clever, tidy footballer and the position is his for the moment.
Chris Smalling: 6
Aggressive competence. Which is fine.
Matteo Darmian: 7
Not quite as effusive as Shaw, one great run behind the defence aside. But always solid in defence, with pleasing moments of cynicism.
Michael Carrick: Michael Carrick
Bastian Schweinsteiger: 7
Probably his best full game for United: classy, energetic, and by the end, when the backheels came out, something approaching imperious. Will be exceptionally useful for United when they're leading games, though won't always be gifted such accommodating opposition.
Memphis Depay: 3
Look, he's young, so games like this are all part of the process and marks like this are not reflective of how good he might become. But while he's obviously talented, his decision making yesterday was well below par, he seemed to lose confidence quickly, and he got nothing from Nathaniel Clyne. Rightly replaced.
Ander Herrera: 5
Busy as ever, bought the penalty with an excellent piece of canny professionalism, and then hammered the thing into the net with considerable panache. Didn't do too much else.
Juan Mata: 6.15
While Mata is by some distance Manchester United's most reliable creator of chances, that comes with the caveat that Manchester United don't create very many chances. This means that Mata is both incredibly important and frequently underwhelming. Which sounds like somewhere in the middle to us. Call this a five and a seven point three if you prefer.
Marouane Fellaini: 4
Has never looked more like a Manchester United midfielder.
Ashley Young (on for Memphis, 45'): 6
"Go and run at him, Ashley, see what might happen. Oh look. A freekick. Oh look. A goal." That's, what, Louis van Gaal's second excellent substitution of the season? Crazy times.
Anthony Martial (on for Mata, 65'): 39,000,000, possibly rising to 55,000,000
Well, that went well.
Morgan Schneiderlin (on for Carrick, 72'): look, this is where the exercise kind of falls down
He was only on the field for eighteen minutes. Still, apparently he's Martial's translator, so maybe he deserves some credit for the goal. What's French for "Martin Skrtel's a shambles, just run at him"?
The Busby Babe would like to cordially remind you that taking marks out of ten too seriously can prove deleterious to your health.