Alex Ferguson and Wayne Rooney patch up differences at Manchester United

Manchester United is a haven of peace and understanding. Alex Ferguson claimed that Wayne Rooney wanted to leave in the days leading up to his retirement. It soon transpired that nothing of the sort had been discussed between the two. Rooney had wanted to leave years ago, for Manchester City, and after Ferguson left he would want to join Chelsea. The Chelsea transfer is one thing, trying to join the rivals of a club in the same city is unacceptable.

However, Rooney's crimes compared to Ferguson's - letting in the Glazers, buying Bebe for a 'justified' reason, isolating an excommunicating Roy Keane, Michael Owen, and claiming the Cristiano Ronaldo money was always there if necessary. Oh, and the Glazers. And the Glazers - are nothing. Ferguson is the real criminal when it comes to United, and Rooney is merely an imperfect human like us all. Anyway, according to the Telegraph, he and Ferguson are friends again. Lovely. You can read that here.

In the Guardian, there's some words from Ashley Young, claiming that he and his team-mates will not be distracted b the De Gea circus. You'd hope they are, really, because the level of performance from them all has been so poor, having such a minor problem be the cause would be ideal. Look here.

According to the Mail, Manchester United have received 20 loan enquiries for James Wilson from clubs in the lower leagues. United can't spare him. They simply don't have the squad to do so, so don't be surprised when Louis van Gaal sends him away anyway. You can drink in the words here.

United are now so bad that even Alan Shearer can accurately criticise them. The football United play is 'dull' and the transfers made were 'baffling', it says he says, here in the Mirror. Alan Shearer being in the right. Look what you've done, Louis.