Last night, Germany beat Scotland 3-2 at Hampden Park, in the process taking a large step towards qualification for Euro 2016, a football tournament that will be held in France between 10 June and 10 July in the year of the same name. Not that any of that particularly matters here. What does matter is that Bastian Schweinsteiger played 90 minutes, and neither of his legs fell off.
How did he play, you ask? Well, he was all the things he usually is: neat in his passing, tidy in possession, regular in recycling, authoritative in his pointing, venerable and infinitely wise and sad in the faces he directed towards the referee whenever a marauding Scot mistook his finely turned Bavarian ankle for the ball. That actually only happened once with any real import, when West Bromwich Albion's James Morrison caught him with a bit of a nasty one. But Schweinsteiger soldiered on, and didn't appear to get any slower as a result.
Because he couldn't get any slower! Because he is old! Ha ha!
The most exciting moment, however, came towards the end. It was either at 2-2 or 3-2, a distinction that is probably important but has been lost in the mists of time. It was about the time your correspondent's dinner was ready. That latter sentence may explain the former. Chicken, since you ask, with some broccoli and kale. Healthy as. Anyway, Schweinsteiger, a man who has conscientiously eaten his greens for years, had a shot. A lovely shot, too: a rising left-footed slap that, in a fairer and more beautiful universe, slipped between the waves of Scottish fervour, past the despairing dive of David Marshall, and into the net, which caught fire.
Here, though, the keeper punched it clear. Or maybe he caught it. It doesn't really matter. Life went on.