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Louis van Gaal to Her Majesty's press: "You too, fat man"

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Following Wayne Rooney's decent performance against Newcastle, Manchester United's manager was gracious in ... oh no, wait, he totally wasn't.

Ian MacNicol/Getty Images

Did you enjoy Wayne Rooney playing quite well against Newcastle? We sort-of did, in a fine, but we didn't win, and it'll only encourage him way. But one man who definitely did enjoy United's captain's display was Louis van Gaal, who has took the opportunity to hit back at all the reporters who said Rooney was playing badly while he was playing badly.

There's a certain amount of pot-and-kettling going on there, of course; Louis isn't exactly the world's sveltest huamn being. And this plus the the subsequent chuckling suggests that he may have just been indulging in a little friendly banter. Sadly, the bantered party off-screen at the end of the video, so we'll just have to read the papers and try and guess who he was talking to.

Banter is, of course, the worst word in the world and in many reasonable companies can be considered a sackable offence in itself. So, now's your chance, Ed! You've got him!