In the Mirror, Matteo Darmian is quoted as describing his Manchester United as starting with a 'positive six months' which makes you wonder what would look like a negative six months to him.
According to ESPN, Manchester United made a bid for Barcelona's Neymar. You will be unsurprised to hear that it did not succeed, what with him being at the best side in the world.
In the Manchester Evening News, Victor Valdes is apparently doing one. He's been linked with a loan move to Standard Liege. From the outside, at least, he seems to be a reasonable enough man.
Remember when Manchester United used to bid for players with release clauses - Antoine Griezmann and Pedro, for example - only to be baffled when their bids below those clauses were rejected? Well, welcome to the negotiations for Renato Sanches of Benfica. He has a release clause, but United aren't meeting it. The tension is unbearable. The Daily Mail says that United had talks on Friday.
I'd link to stuff in the Telegraph or Guardian, but these days they are both almost relentlessly bad.