In the Mirror's transfer round-up, Manchester United are linked with Gianluigi Donnarumma at AC Milan, and Real Madrid's James Rodriguez. Go on then, might as well, not that it'll make a difference with Louis van Gaal in charge.
In the Mail, Jorge Mendes has denied Miguel Delaney's story that Jose Mourinho wrote a six-page letter detailing how he would stick to Manchester United's principles of attacking football and youth (you may scoff when you consider whether those principles are more than myths), and what he would do with the current squad. I'd believe Delaney over Mendes over literally almost anything, for what it's worth.
The Telegraph think that yesterday's pathetic defeat to Southampton will increase the pressure on Van Gaal. It should, but if something like seven wins in 22 weren't already going to get him sacked, what's a few more?
Marouane Fellaini should have been sent off for an elbow against Southampton, and ESPN pick that out as just one bit of sweetcorn in an especially big bit of turd, that was his performance.
The Manchester Evening News keeps us updated with all the records United's poor run has broken under Van Gaal.
And Matteo Darmian is injured. Good stuff, this is going well.