Manchester United are NOT interested in Pep Guardiola, apparently

Well, we hope you didn't spend too long wondering how Wayne Rooney might attempt to play tiki-taka. According to the Manchester Evening News, Manchester United will not be attempting to persuade Pep Guardiola to come to Old Trafford.

Why? Well, it's because they think he's basically a fraud, that his Barcelona team was handed to him on a plate, and that his football is profoundly boring. Wait, no, hang on. It's because:

the Reds already believe Guardiola is going to rivals City at the Etihad and the deal is as good as done and are, therefore, not prepared to challenge the Blues.

Makes a certain amount of sense. However, you have to wonder if United's hierarchy haven't managed to convince themselves, at least a little bit, of some of that other stuff as well. Otherwise, it would be borderline negligent to let Guardiola go without making some kind of dignity-free, cash-heavy swipe at him. What else are Manchester United good for, if not that?