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Surprise! Jose Mourinho is actually David Moyes

Manchester United are considering a move for Everton's Seamus Coleman, according to the rumours.

Republic of Ireland v Georgia - FIFA 2018 World Cup Qualifier Photo by Mike Hewitt/Getty Images

To spice things up this international break, the rumour mill has decided to adopt a retro aspect. So slip into your best vintage frock, whack a great gob of Brylcreem onto your beautiful hair, stick your briar pipe into your mouth and get ready to party like it's ...

... 2013!

Well, it feels like a long time ago. David Moyes was in charge at Old Trafford, as you may recall, and because David Moyes is physically allergic to signing footballers he hasn't previously worked with — why do you think he always looks so pained when he joins a new club? — United were trying to sign most of Everton. Marouane Fellaini came, but Leighton Baines and Seamus Coleman stayed firmly put. And Jose Mourinho is, apparently, now looking to succeed where he predecessor failed.

Coleman is the target, according to the Sunday People, £16m is the fee, and January is the time. It certainly passes the first test of any transfer rumour — does that make sense? — because while Antonio Valencia has been performing well, he's not a specialist, and Mourinho clearly has little time for Matteo Darmian. He won't be cup-tied in the Europa League, which might be relevant, and he would scratch the odd itch that comes from United not having a single Irish player at the club. That's unusual, right?

In the humble opinion of this particular aspect of tBB, Coleman's pretty good. Certainly, he's very attacking: at times under Roberto Martinez he seemed to be playing as an auxiliary winger, and just yesterday he scored a magnificently scrappy goal for Ireland, eventually finishing from about four inches out. All of which sounds like fun to us, and so we give this transfer rumour four fixed-wheel bicycles out of five.