Whether Sunday's result against Chelsea counts as one point lost or two points gained depends, perhaps, on your point of view. It would be tough to argue that United were the better side in any serious way, yet injury-time equalisers always feel like some kind of robbery. And so we're guessing that when Louis van Gaal sat down to chat to the press, he was feeling a little annoyed ...
So you didn't speak to Ed Woodward, not with the Glazers and you are inventing a story. And then I have to answer this question. I don't answer this question. And I shall repeat myself every week. Now I have to say that you are getting the sack tomorrow. What is your name? Then I can announce your name also. Look at your wife, maybe you have children or a nephew or something.
Oh. Oh good.
That little tirade was in response to the question "Do you think that's important as the club is trying to replace you, the fact you're trying to put in the performances which show you might have a value to the club?" -- emphasis ours -- which wins the Busby Babe award for Tactless Provocation of the Month even though it's only the 8th.
Later, the conversation turned to late goals and Alex Ferguson.
Journalist B: "A lot was said about your predecessor that he made his living out of that - Fergie Time. It was quite famous wasn't it? And now you think it's gone 180 degrees?"
Van Gaal: "OK, write what you want to write ... Maybe you remember also the first years of Fergie."
Journalist B: "I was too young. I'll get my dad to tell me."
Van Gaal: "Then you have to study, study statistics."
If Van Gaal does go at the end of the season, we won't miss much of the football. But we will miss the press conferences.