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Manchester United or West Ham will play Everton in the FA Cup semifinals

Whoever wins the quarterfinal replay will face Roberto Martinez's entertainers at Wembley.

Chris Brunskill/Getty Images

The balls have spoken, and when Manchester United have replayed their game against West Ham, the winner will go on to face Everton in the trickier of the two FA Cup semifinals.

The good: Everton, being a Roberto Martinez side, cannot really defend. Nor do they really even try to defend. As such, even an attack as dysfunctional as Manchester United's should be able to find some joy. United went to Goodison Park earlier in the season and scored three. Three! Imagine that.

The bad: Romelu Lukaku is really, really good, and makes defenders, even good defenders, look very silly indeed. The Busby Babe shudders to think what he might do if he found himself up against Daley Blind.

The ugly: United are probably going to lose the replay at Upton Park, so none of the above is relevant.

The date of the replay, incidentally, probably won't be fixed until we know what's happening with the Europa League. In the meantime, go back to your lives, citizens.