We speak to a Manchester City fan about the Manchester Derby

If Manchester City were a grime song by a trending grime singer, which song would they be?

Anything by Stormzy, as despite recent domestic success and increasing exposure in foreign markets, we're still fucking shite and don't deserve our current standing.

Would you say that Steve Coppell is the greatest manager in the club's history, or the greatest man?

I'll level with you here mate, I've barely any clue who the man is, but he's got a long way to catch up to Peter Swales in Citeh infamy I'd reckon.

Are you excited by Pep Guardiola's arrival, or are you sick of the whole fucking debacle of modern football now?

I'm excited to watch a team of superhumans trounce absolutely anyone and anything in their path thanks to the, erm... new training methods Guardiola will bring... but otherwise I was a little surprised at myself and my mates for our lack of enthusiasm at what could potentially be the biggest managerial appointment in our history. which is probably because that ancient, stubborn, ballsack of a man in charge at the moment has done more to put me off supporting this team than I thought was possible since my childhood trauma at the hands of Stuart Pearce. But in reality, I fully expect us to win minimum six derbies on the bounce with him, and anything less will be a failure.

How have you found the season so far, is it better watching a bunch of arseholes who can't be bothered rather than a bunch of arseholes who simply can't?

I dunno Alex, you tell me? But nah it's been dire. The season has completely failed to take off for me. Given the state of the league at the moment, this could have been any of the top few clubs to win, but only Leicester have seem mithered to go for it (Arsenal bottling it even in these circumstances is hilarious as ever though). The League Cup win, as uplifting as it was on the day, has done more to ensure Pellegrini doesn't get hounded out of the club in disgrace than to leave us with any fond memories of this season. although I am always hesitant to lay blame solely at the feet of a manager given the absolute un-arsedness of the vast majority of our players this season; no-one comes out of this year looking good. Saying that, the sooner he fucks off the better and he can take his bloody cup with him.

Is it a barm, a roll, a bap, or is there some grime word for bread now?

What kind of a question... but barm. It's a barm. Sometimes butty. I'm not a yonner

Lastly, what's your prediction for the scoreline?

4-1 to you, we'll get absolutely B*****d [asterisked due to standards of decency].

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