Well, that was fun.
David de Gea: 8
It was an average penalty but still a damn good save. Did well with everything else Everton threw at him as well, notably a couple of one-on-ones in the first half.
Timothy Fosu-Mensah: 6
Encouragingly fearless when going forward and defensively acceptable for about an hour ... then threw himself to the ground in the box. Don't do that, please, Timothy. Referees love it when you do that. They get to blow their whistle and point and feel all important on television.
Chris Smalling: 4
You see your right foot, Chris? Down there at the bottom of your right leg? Okay, if you follow your body up your right leg, across to the left, and down the other leg, what do you find there? That's right! Another foot! We call that your "left foot". Kick the ball with it next time.
Daley Blind: 5?
Back on corners. Literally can't remember anything else about his performance.
Marcos Rojo: 4
The usual blend of willing running, overenthusiastic grappling, appalling crossing and general chaos. Sort of like having a labrador at full-back. Which is fun, at least, if not entirely secure.
Michael Carrick: 4?
Much of this game is a bit blurry, if we're being honest. Late winners can do funny things to memory. Let's give him some credit for the controlled first half and then take a bit off for the panic in the second. That seems fair.
Jesse Lingard: 5
Trapped in that strange liminal zone between "definitely not good enough" and "definitely good enough", Lingard's performance was a funny blend of decent things done decently and good things ever-so-slightly wrong. Screwing a shot wide with his left foot late in the first half was a particularly frustrating moment.
Marouane Fellaini: 8!
His best game for the club since ... forever? Clearly at his most comfortable when allowed to stroll around as part of a midfield three, and Everton, with Gareth Barry on the bench and Muhamed Besic out at right-back, were polite enough not to ruin his big day out.
Wayne Rooney: 8!
His best game for the club for a good long while, and certainly his best as a midfielder. Passed well and quickly, got around the pitch, and even threw in an early header off the line. If he keeps up this sort of form, he just might be in with a shout of the England squad.
Anthony Martial: 2,648,229
Marcus Rashford: 7
Left his finishing boots at home but everything else was on display, and he kept Everton's creaky defence creaking all game. Some lovely interplay with Martial too. Whoever's in charge next season has something special to build around.
Antonio Valencia (on for Fosu-Mensah, 62'): 7
For once, Van Gaal's obsession with swapping his fullbacks came with a fairly obvious motivation — in case Fosu-Mensah's head went — and had an observable, positive impact. Valencia had a calm and tidy half hour, which was just what United required. Be nice if he could cross, but let's not get greedy.
Ander Herrera (on for Fellaini, 87'): 9
Best yellow card of the season, that.
The Busby Babe would like to cordially remind you that taking marks out of ten too seriously, particularly those written after an injury time winner in a semi-final, can prove deleterious to your health.