Thin picking on the Manchester United front today: most outlets seem to have been distracted by some other game on the other side of town last night. "Real Madrid," it says here. And "Manchester City". Never heard of them.
However, the day that has no United transfer rumour is the day the world ends, and our continued existence has been assured by Marouane Fellaini. It turns out that his acceptable performance against Everton on Saturday hasn't really fooled anybody, so according to La Gazzetta he'll be off to AS Roma. Maybe. Possibly. At least, he went to see them play. Look, this isn't science.
Other transfer balls, courtesy of the MEN: Memphis Depay might be off already, and PSG's Marquinhos is not happy and wants to go somewhere, anywhere. Hey, Old Trafford is somewhere!
Nothing to do with United, but it would be remiss of us not to draw your attention to something else in the Guardian. The Hillsborough Inquest returned a verdict of unlawful killing yesterday; this account of the disaster and the subsequent cover-up is as comprehensive as it is horrifying and infuriating.
And finally, in a complete change of tone, The Mirror can exclusively reveal that Ashley Young is the current dressing room DJ, and that Louis van Gaal likes "house and funky house". You know when you feel a useless fact settle into your brain and know that it will still be there long after almost all the useful information has vanished into the fog? Yeah, that. "House and funky house." So it goes.