Like an overenthusiastic man preparing a hot dog, today's offering of barely digestible, mechanically recovered filler is double-sourced. Sauced. Sourced. Oh come on, that was pretty good.
Anyway. Renato Sanches to Manchester United is the familiar-to-the-point-of-fatigue story, but we've two angles. ESPN FC are debasing themselves by linking to the Express — we're better than that, by exactly one degree of separation — and they reckon that United are "in the clear" and will pay an initial £31.5m for the lad. Which we've heard before ...
... however, the Mirror have been reading O Jogo, a newspaper from Portugal, and they reckon that Benfica president Luis Felipe Vieira has been in Manchester to discuss a potential deal with United and some bloke called "Jorge Mendes", whose name rings a vague bell. They reckon there's still haggling to be done over the fee, but a deal is "edging closer".
So yeah, get those tattoos sorted.
Elsewhere, not much. The Manchester Evening News reckon United might go back in for Toni Kroos, who has been pretty rubbish this season at Real Madrid. Rich Jolly compares Leicester and United's approaches to transfers and squad management over on ESPN. And Hugo Lloris ain't going nowhere.
Sourced. Sauced. Fine. Have it your way. Ingrates.