Manchester United, according to a story in the Mirror, have been offered the chance to sign Cristiano Ronaldo. The fee will be about £60 million, should they take it. They shouldn't, really, the money could be better spent on someone younger, but he's still obviously excellent.
According to reports in the Netherlands, which are reported on ESPNFC, Louis van Gaal will not take a job with the Dutch FA. That's no surprise - it's not a one-year job, and Van Gaal has said he would retire at the end of his time at United anyway. Just because he doesn't take that job doesn't mean he's staying at United next season.
Romelu Lukaku has ruled out joining Manchester United, because this story in the Telegraph says he wants Champions League football.
United are rubbish, but Martin Samuel is rubbisher. Read him in the Daily Mail here.
And in the Manchester Evening News, there's a rumour that Jose Mourinho's agent will soon be in touch with Manchester United about him getting the job. Wahey.