Right. It's on. It's on like King, Donkey, and Hong Kong.
No, not the Champions League. Though it would be very funny if Manchester United could overtake City in the Premier League and, by so doing, force Pep Guardiola's project to begin in the Europa League, that's a side issue this evening.
Tonight, as you may have heard, is West Ham's last league game at their ancestral home, before they move to a lovely little bijou spot in the Olympic Park (oh, it's darling, and you won't believe how cheap the rent is). Which means that tonight Manchester United get the opportunity to indulge in one of football's greatest pleasures: the ruining of somebody else's party. Like Greece in 2004; like, er, West Ham in 1995. Pure, uncut schadenfreude, shot straight into the eye. There are bubbles to be popped.
HOW TO WATCH
When: 19:45 UK time, 14:45 in 'Murrica
Where: The Boleyn Ground, also known as Upton Park, in east London
Television: Sky Sports One in the UK, NBCSN in the land of the free and the home of the brave
Online: Sky Sports Go here, NBC Sports Live Extra there
Pre-match reading on why United need to get drunk is here. This is also our Live Thread for the game, so if you're watching near a computer, do stick around and share the pain below.