Manchester police commissioner acts like a jump-up clown over Old Trafford bomb scare

Even when they're probably right, the English police just cannot act in a way that does not make them seem like complete bellends. No wonder everyone clever despises them and cannot wait for them to be overthrown during the revolution. Here they are in the Guardian, asking for a full investigation into a security fuck up.

Amusingly, British incompetence does not end there, as it seems the security team who made the mistake worked on the Olympics and Rugby World Cup. Be honest, though. Despite this guff in the Telegraph, is it really so bad?

Despite having 0.00000005% chance of finishing fourth, United still have to play to win on Tuesday night because it'll effect when they start next season, after the exertions of Euro 2016. That's in the Daily Mail.

Some handy news, as despite Marouane Fellaini's suspension expiring before the FA Cup final, his partner in uselessness (it's a big partnership), Marcos Rojo, is probably going to miss the match against Crystal Palace. You can read about that in the Manchester Evening News.

And on ESPNFC, the mayor of Manchester also wants an inquiry. Honestly, who isn't glad the season is almost over?