Everybody else is saying it, so we'll get involved. We'll probably have to wait an hour or so for official confirmation from the club, but Louis van Gaal has been dismissed as manager of Manchester United. Look, here's a proper journalist saying so:
LVG gone. Hoek, Stuivenberg and Reckers also out— Mark Ogden (@MarkOgden_) May 23, 2016
Hoek, Stuivenberg and Reckers is, of course, the Dutch law firm Van Gaal uses as representatives.
So Van Gaal leaves after two season of largely uninspiring football, deeply peculiar squad management decisions, and a successful FA Cup campaign. United won 54 of his 103 games in charge, though the real issue is that they didn't score many goals in the process and, this season, failed to secure qualification for the Champions League. It did for David Moyes, and now it's done for his successor.
The identity of Van Gaal's replacement remains technically a mystery, though if it's not Jose Mourinho then everybody's going to look very silly indeed. All that's left to do now is say farewell to the Iron Tulip. It's been ... well, it's been.