Manchester United and City argue over facts of stramash

Paul Pogba has displayed a fundamental misunderstanding of biology in general and human anatomy in particular, when he said that it was his heart that told him to come back to Old Trafford and Manchester United. Pogba apparently believes that it is the heart that is the root of decision making, and not, in fact, the brain. Hundreds of years of science have made this is a pretty obvious fact, and yet Pogba continues to ignore it. There is a chance that he wasn’t talking literally, but I think that’s a pretty remote possibility.

Bad news for Jose Mourinho. Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has described his sympathy over having to hear the opposition side celebrate provocatively noisily and exuberantly. Wenger, of course, has almost endless experience of hearing the opposition side celebrate after winning, but it’s never good that a perennial loser starts to agree with you. The next thing you know, United will end up signing Mesut Ozil!

Good news for Jose Mourinho. Hack and always-wrong Jason Burt says that he has neither the temperament nor the tactics to succeed at Old Trafford, ignoring the facts of recent and medium-term history. Give Mourinho a proper side, wind him up and point him in the direction of Pep Guardiola, and he will eventually wind him up to the point of collapse.

Ian Wright has talked some sense, claiming that the mini-scrap between United and Arsenal was, ‘hilarious.’ Nevertheless, we are still being treated with coverage of it that suggests it is on a par with a terrorist attack, or a grisly episode of Silent Witness. We really are scraping the barrel of existence these days.

And lastly, Mourinho has started mouthing off about Guardiola and City’s diversity of education and behaviour, which is pretty much guaranteed to be only the start of a WAR OF WORDS.