Seasons greetings, ho ho ho, et cetera, et cetera. Hopefully Santa Claus brings us a blood doping scandal that sees Manchester City punished with immediate relegation, at which point Ed Woodward activates Kevin De Bruyne’s buyout clause in January. We can live in hope. In the meantime though, Manchester United are left to trudge away in Premier League competition, hosting Burnley in the Traditional Boxing Day Fixture™.

Burnley will have to do with several first-teamers: Tom Heaton, Robbie Brady, Chris Wood and Dean Marney are all injured; James Tarkowski is suspended; and Jonathan Walters and Stephen Ward both face late fitness tests. United have fitness problems of their own: Michael Carrick, Eric Bailly, Marouane Fellaini, Antonio Valencia and Chris Smalling are all out; Matteo Darmian is in doubt.

It’s all a bit pointless at this point, but holiday football is always a good excuse to ignore your family.

Premier League schedule

We kick off at 15.00 in Manchester, which is 10.00 AM on the east coast of the USA and a bleary-eyed 07.00 AM over on the west. Remember that you can only be hungover if you stop drinking.

Premier League TV channel

The match isn’t being broadcast in the UK, unless you have MUTV. In the USA, tune in to NBCSN. A click on livesoccertv will sort out the rest of you.

Premier League streaming

MUTV in the UK, and NBC Sports Live in the USA.

Starting lineup

With all the injuries and necessary rotation, who knows? Whoever is fit and didn’t totally infuriate Mourinho by throwing away two points at Leicester, we suppose.

Possibly David de Gea; Victor Lindelöf, Phil Jones, Marcos Rojo, Luke Shaw; Nemanja Matić, Paul Pogba; Juan Mata, Jesse Lingard, Marcus Rashford; Romelu Lukaku.

Update: ZLATAN IBRAHIMOVIC AT NUMBER 10. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. KISS GOODBYE TO YOUR LOVED ONES. GET TO HIGH GROUND.

This will also be our live thread for the game, so do join us in the comments below.