To walk from Old Trafford, Manchester, to Rostov-on-Don, southern Russia, takes approximately 652 hours. Apparently. And we don't know if Google Maps is factoring in time for eating, sleeping, and explaining the intricacies of Brexit to every baffled European you pass along the way. Ultimately, we have to hope that Manchester United take the plane ...
... for that's where United are heading in the next round of the Europa League.
What do we know about FC Rostov? We know that they overcame Sparta Prague 5-1 on aggregate in the last round, a 4-0 home win and then a 1-1 draw in Czechia. We know that they finished second in the Russian Premier League last season, but are currently in seventh. Regrettably, we don't know much else. Sorry. We'll try and dig out a Russian football expert before the game actually happens.
United have the notional advantage of playing the second leg at home, on Thursday March 16. The first leg will come the previous week, March 9. As far as we can tell, United have never played Rostov before, so here's a chance for any ambitious groundhoppers to add another trip to their collection.
Oh! We know one more thing. We that José Mourinho is unlikely to be particularly pleased about playing the away leg of this tie just four days before United take on Chelsea in the FA Cup. Still, it could be worse. He could be walking.
Update: Yes, we had the wrong Rostov. Sincere apologies to you all. If only we hadn't decided to open this news piece with a hilarious geographical riff. Nobody would have know. Ah, hubris!