Daley Blind's dad has been sacked by the Netherlands/Holland/Sevco for being bad at his job, and so Blind has played tribute to Blind. Yes, there really is that little Manchester United news that this is what I've sunk to. It only gets better from here. Or does it? No.
The second greatest ever Frenchman, Patrice Evra, has done a video of him kissing a monkey. See, I told you it wasn't getting any better. How much further lower can we get?
The Daily Mail has done a report on just how the Glazers coped with the pressure of going without trophies. The answer, without reading the article, is that they don't care about what happens on the pitch as long as the money keeps coming in off it. And it is, so they literally do not care about anything to do with Manchester United.
United's reserve goalkeeper, Sam Johnstone, is wanted by Aston Villa for about £3 million. Good old Steve Bruce, he'll always keep his old club in his thoughts when it comes to deadwood. With luck, Villa can scrape promotion and buy Jesse Lingard, Matteo Darmian, Wayne Rooney, Chris Smalling, Phil Jones and Daley Blind from us.
The Guardian's Paul Wilson thinks that Manchester United and Arsenal are the two clubs most likely to miss out on the top four. Look, I did warn you that there was absolutely nothing worth reading today. My suggestion is that you all get together in the comments and decide if Sergio Romero is a great 'keeper, or the greatest 'keeper. I know what I think.